


Business Time

by little_seahorse



Category: Flight of the Conchords (TV), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humour, M/M, Song - Freeform, Tragedy, premature ej-oh god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:10:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_seahorse/pseuds/little_seahorse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I've finally cracked.</p><p>This little number owes so much to Flight of the Conchords, it's not even funny. </p><p>I do not own the rights, and I have no money, so please, don't sue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Business Time

John. Tonight we're going to make love. Do you know how I know?

Because it's Wednesday, and Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love.

Monday night is my night to cook. On Tuesday night we go and make rude gestures at CCTV cameras, but Wednesday night we make sweet weekly love.

It's when everything is just right. There's nothing good on TV (when is there ever?). You haven't had your after-work social pint with Lestrade, so you are not too tired.  
Oh, John. It's all on.

You lean in and whisper something sexy in my ear, like, "I might go to bed now, i've got work in the morning."

I know what you're trying to say, John.

You're trying to say, "aw yeah, it's business time."

It's business time. I know what you're trying to say, you're trying to say it's time for business - it's business time, ooh.

 

Then we're in the bathroom brushing our teeth. That's all part of the foreplay. I love foreplay.

Then you sort out the recycling. That isn't part of the foreplay process, but you insist that it's still very important.

Next thing you know we're in the bedroom. You're wearing that baggy, old, ugly t-shirt you got from Bart's several years ago.

You know the one, baby. With the curry stain. Mmm.

 

I remove my clothes very, very clumsily, tripping sensuously over my pants. Now I'm naked, except for my socks. And you know when I'm down to just my socks...what time it is.

Oh!

John, it's business time.

You know when I'm down to my socks it's time for business, that's why they're called business socks, ooh.

 

Mm...making love.  
Making love for...making love for two...  
Making love for two minutes.

When it's with me, John, you only need two minutes. Because I'm so intense.

You whisper something sexy like "Is that it?!"

I know what you're trying to say John, you're trying to say "Oh yeah, that's it!"

Then you tell me you want some more, well...I'm not surprised.

But I'm quite sleepy

Mm! Business hours are over, baby.

* * *

Sigh.

"Sherlock."

John hears soft snores.

"God damn it."

John shoves Sherlock off him, and reaches a resigned hand down to his poor, neglected cock.


End file.
